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 POT OF MACARONI
Pot of Macaroni, Pot of Macaroni
ah-ah-ah-ah
It's in a pot, a pot of boiling hot
It's in a pot, a pot of boiling hot
It's in a pot, a pot of boiling hot
water
Macaroni for the first time
is macaroni by the book
macaroni of the worst kind
is macaroni overcooked
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THAT'S CHILD ABUSE
Cut out the crap or I'll give you a slap
Quit talking back or I'll give ya a smack
Cut it out quick or I'll give you a kick
Knock off the sass or I'm-a beat yo' ass
Child abuse, Child abuse
It's no use, he says it's child abuse
Stop it right now or I'll make you say "ow"
keep your mouth shut or I'll spank your butt
Don't give me no flak or I'll give you a whack
Don't give me no grief or I'll knock out your teeth |
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DIDJA EVER SEE
Didja ever see a yak vomit?
Did you ever watch Wallace and Gromit?
Did you ever see a moose
get a massage from a masseuse?
Did you ever see a goose
get a corsage from a recluse? |
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TAKE ANOTHER PICTURE OF ME
Take another picture of me
Take another picture of me
I love those flashbulbs can't you see
and the only thing that I wanna know
is am I gonna be on the news tonight?
Take another picture of me
Take another picture of me
I have a photogenic memory
and the other thing that I wanna know
is am I gonna be on your website?
Let all men take my photograph
so my face is what they're looking at
ME! |
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I COULDN'T HOLD IT
Well it was just another day in Bloomfield
when it suddenly hit me
and that was when I found myself at the door of the BBT
I told 'em that I had to go
but Carl wouldn't let me in
when I finally got inside time was growing thin
and I couldn't hold it
it was some of that old shit
just kinda came out
when I fell down the stairs
I felt I had to show Jess all my bruises
and though I'm really not the kind that boozes
I can't believe I left my daisy dukes behind
I tried to clean up the best I could
with paper towels and water
I got out my cell phone and called up my daughter
I said, "Could you come by right away
I need a change of clothes"
She said, "Why?" and I said "This is how my story goes"
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CRASH RIDE
I'm gonna ride, ride, ride
I'm gonna ride, ride, ride
until I crash
I'm on a crash ride
a crash ride
I'm on a crash ride
CRASH!
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CAN'T STOP EATING THIS CANDY
Late at night when the lights all go down
in the dark I know my way around
up the stairs and then to the left
that is where all the chocolate is kept
and I can't stop eating this candy
I can't stop eating this candy
no I can't stop eating this candy
I'll try that then I'll chew some of this
there's so much that I don't want to miss
as I rustle around in this bag
I'll keep on eating until I gag
And I don't even care just want my midnight snack
and I don't even care if it breaks my back |
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THE EARTH DIES QUICK
Mother Nature is the final judge
We're gonna get buried in a pile of sludge
floods and a thousand foot tidal wave
everyone dies and no one gets saved
The earth dies quick, the earth dies quick (4x)
The Mayan prophecy will be upheld
on December 21, 2012
our fate was written at the dawn of man
aliens in UFO's carry out the plan
Floods and a thousand foot tidal wave
everyone dies and no one gets saved
Mother Nature is the final judge
We're gonna get buried in a pile of sludge |
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SEAGULL SHIT ON MY SHIRT
Well I put on some sunscreen so I wouldn't get burnt
and then a seagull shit on my shirt
I guess it was a lesson that had to be learnt
a seagull shit on my shirt
I would have preferred
that it had not occurred
but it's hard to stop the turd
It flew overhead and it started to spurt
a seagull shit on my shirt
it was splattered all over with birdy dirt
the seagull shit on my shirt
I would have preferred
that it had not occurred
but a bird has to drop a turd
It could've been avoided if I was on the alert
the seagull shit on my shirt
that damn seagull and his fucking sea squirt
a seagull shit on my shirt |
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BLACKOUT (ALICE COOPER VERSION)
I know a little... |
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DEVILS
In my head, that is my home
there's nowhere else to live in
and every time that they return
there's nothing I can do but give in
from their grasp, there's no escape
II can't even tell when they take shape
Devils!
They come back and taken my place
Devils!
They burned the smile right off of my face
How can I take back what's mine
when they leave me so helpless
when they take control of my mind
they take all I possess
All I want is to be free
from the things they make me see |
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SNEAK KING
Sneak King, Sneak King
He's just a Sneak King
Trying to surprise you with some really shitty food
Sneak King is a dude who's really fucking rude
Silence and stealth are the primary
means of food delivery |
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THERE IS A SHOW AT THE BELVEDERE
This should be a breeze
I just need your DNB's
I'm sorry for the delay
we're putting you in the database today
8 dates could include a string
I'll string you along and not do a thing
but you know there's a show at the Belvedere
I hope I'll be excused
sometimes I get a little confused
I'm sorry I am late
I'll be in contact everyday to update
Today I am launching the major campaign
in Pennsylvania, Ohio and Michigan
and don't forget there's a show at the Belvedere
Yours in music and peace, |
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UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN MARCHING BAND
"What's that?"
"oh what is that?"
"hey Bert, I forgot to tell you."
"I invited the University of Michigan Marching Band." |
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THE FLASHLIGHTS ARE ON
The Flashlights are on
everyday, every time, everywhere I go
People just wanna see
they don't care if they're blinding me
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SONG JOHN DENVER TAUGHT ME IN A DREAM
Well I wanna live
and I wanna die
and I wanna never grow old
I wanna choke on a wiener |
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(YOU BROKE THE FACE OFF A) $10 SANTA CLAUS
You broke the face off a $10 Santa Claus
a $10 Santa Claus
You're a madman, bent on destruction
you're a madman, you're bent!
You've got no qualms
and you've got no scruples
and I can tell you're out of hand
by your dilated pupils |
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THE HERBAL TEA SKELETON/RE-DUDE
He's the Herbal Tea Skeleton
he won't stop singing 'bout gettin' down
and he's coming to my town
What is that
two dimensionally flat
and bony thing
it's their new mascot
clad in just an ascot
listen to him sing
Trying to attract those who are shopperly
by picking up lemons
in a grasshoppery metropolis
when there's a low water supply
he'll still be trying to sell chai
to a doomed megalopolis
Dude.
I mean Dude. |
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FINDER'S FEE
I am the stimulator
no I ain't no simulator
Grafenberg found it
and you know that I found it too
Right about now I'd like to cash in
on my IOU
When are you givin' me
my finder's fee
You told me yourself that you liked to sizzle
so sizzle, fo' shizzle
I think we agree that I hit the spot
now it's time to piss or get off the pot |
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ONE BIG POOP
One big poop
We're all one big poop
Do you like Mountain Dew
Do you like one big poop |
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AS HEARD IN MY DREAMS (Lyrics) 