CHILD-BEATING BASTARD Child-Beating Bastard, Child-Beating Bastard Child-Beating Bastard, Child-Beating Bastard Child-Beating, Child-Beating, Child-Beating Bastard

BEINHAUER MORTUARY I don't wanna be in Beinhauer Mortuary Cause that's where all the dead people are (2x) I don't wanna be in Beinhauer Mortuary Cause that's where they keep all the stiffs (2x) I'm alive as can be, I'm alive can't you see (4x)

GIVE ME STRENGTH Give me strength, give me strength, give me strength to make it through another day (2x) Why is it happiness just can't last? Why is the present just like the past? Cuz it's the same old crap on Monday It's the same old crap in May and when I wake up each morning, the first thing that I say is: (chorus) Why does the weight of life lie heavy on me? Why can't my dreams at night be my reality? Cuz when I wake up in the morning and I know it's not a dream And when I remember where I am it makes me wanna scream: (chorus) Cuz if I had that strength then I could surely cope Cuz if I had that strength then I would not give up hope

BOOTLEG PRICE PROTEST SONG (writ: Jim Thomas) I went down to Eide's to buy some records I saw a Misfits bootleg more than I could afford Why do bootlegs cost twenty bucks? That's too damn much, it really sucks What the fuck are you doing here if you don't know this song? When a bootleg costs twenty bucks You know that something is really wrong The Misfits live at Max's Kansas City I won't buy a record for twenty bucks! Greg Eide must think I'm ROLLIN' in dough What's with these prices? What the fuck? The Misfits walk among the dead You know the Misfits FUCKING RULE!!! These fiend club bootlegs cost too much Damn, these prices are so uncool Why do bootlegs cost twenty bucks? That's too damn much, what the fuck?

CHANGE MY CLOTHES AND BRUSH MY TEETH When things don't seem so good They don't seem like they oughta should That's when I feel bad When life has got me down I just can't seem to turn around From things that make me sad I won't let tears get in my way I'll save them for another day cause I've got to carry on I'll change my clothes and brush my teeth I'll change my clothes and brush my teeth That's just the way I spell relief I'll change my clothes and brush my teeth When I feel all joy is dead I feel just like I wet my bed I feel like I've been jinxed When I'm hurt by circumstance I feel just like I've pooped my pants and man, it really stinks I won't let trouble be my guest I'll start to clean up the mess Cause life is like a mop

WE LOVE COMPUTERS Computers make me crazee, make me feel so mean Sometimes it's hard to believe that it's just a machine My TRS-80's better than your VIC-20! Cause you've gotta use cassettes instead of a floppy We love computers (3x) Computers make me wild, yeah they make me lose control If that's some kind of crime, then put me on parole You're probably gonna tell me I'm a loser or a dork! But let's see you make it all the way through Zork™ Sometimes computers scare me, yeah they fill me with terror Cause when I press "Return", I get a syntax error I'm gonna program this thing to print my name 20 times I'll only have to type about 200 lines

SWEAR WORD PEOPLE Swear word people Pushing me down, down to the ground Pushing me down (2x) I'm glad to see you have compassion now that it's suddenly in fashion the act of being against is more than just a dental rinse Look at all the pieces of carnival how could that be so harmful? Acting so paranoid is irritating like a hemmorhoid I can't believe what they told you I can't believe that it sold you I can't believe that eating the crust will put hair on my chest Anytime you don't know the reason why Everytime you always say you hear a lie When my Uncle Sam picks up the tab, he drinks the whole thing

IN POSSESSION OF MY POOP I'm in possession of my poop, baybee! I'm in possession of my poop, baybee! I'm in possession of my poop, baybee, and I don't mean maybe Don't shit on nature Cause nature's not to blame Don't shit on nature and don't shit on Varoshi Fame

SHHH...IT WAS A BRATWURST We were out back, using the grill we did not know a bratwurst could kill Shhh, it was a bratwurst (2x) It got too burnt, we had to dispose But where it would land, nobody knows but when it hit, it made a big bang so up from her chair the old woman sprang Feeling afraid, she peered through the door knocking her oxygen tank to the floor She could not tell what made the sound but then she fell down to the ground without her air she breathed her last breath not knowing what sound she heard before death Shhh...

I'M SEEING DOGS NOW I'm seeing dogs now how very odd I'm seeing dogs now how very odd I'm seeing dogs that aren't even there but that's ok, see if I care I'm seeing dogs that just should't be the best things in life are fantasy

HERE COMES MY HEART (writ: Paul Caporino) Here comes my heart Here comes my heart it's got nowhere, nowhere to go Love's nowhere 'round Love's nowhere 'round I've got nothing, nothing to show Show me the way, show me the way Show me the way back home

ME, LET'S HOPE I MAKE IT Up in the sky, the clouds passing by there's a gentle breeze in the air I'm still alive, there's tears in my eyes are they from happiness or despair? It's been a long time, baybee but this time I'm gonna say Me, let's hope I make it Me, let's hope I make it Me, let's hope I make it With a little help from you I can't deny, I gave it a try Only to find that I had failed it broke my heart, I'm back to the start It's like a mountain that can't be scaled

DO IT, DAMNIT Come on baybee, c'mon to get off you gotta get it on (2x) and all I wanna do, all I wanna do is do it, damnit Get down baybee, get down now it's time to go to town (2x) Start the action, start the action start the action now (2x) Start it!

GRANDMA GAVE IT TO ME Grandma gave it to me (4x) What did grandma give me What didn't grandma give me ah, ah grandma gave it to me Grandma never told me to keep my mouth shut Grandma always said we can discuss it all you want Grandma told it to me (4x) What did grandma tell me what didn't grandma tell me ah, ah grandma told it to me

THE SECRET OF THE MUMMY Beware the beat of the cloth-wrapped feet! Terror from the year 1500 B.C. The guy who saw it could barely talk! All he would say is, "He went for a little walk" The Mummy's on the loose and he's dancing with the devil Comes from a tomb that's way below sea level Ya see him coming better look out sista There ain't no runnin' better call him mista! Buried fury from the depths of doom 1,000 terrors lurk within it's tomb If the mummy is a daddy there'll be nowhere to run there'll be double mummy trouble if he has a son The dawn of the mummy is the dawn of the dead Wrapped up in bandages from his feet to his head Shoot it with a gun, stab it with a knive How do you kill something that ain't alive? "He went for a little walk"

COOPER'S FARM We're in the barns now, we're smoking all our blunts The barn is big there's lots of room for all me blunts We're on our butts we're watching Top of the Pops We're on the dole now, we have sooo many blunts We'll pack a bowl now, we have four-hundred and eighty-five blunts! Cheech and Chong are every chap's heroes We smoke our blunts and I fancy a packet of Fritos Please turn down that Dudley Moore movie Just smoke a blunt, yeah the blokes are feeling groovy We'll play some T-ball as we smoke up all our blunts We don't have room for skee-ball and our blunts!

COMPROMISING POSITION Well I got you right where I want you and you got nothing on me (2x) I know this much is true right now it sucks to be you I got you in a compromising position just like your physician got you in a compromising position Hey hey hey, yeah (2x) Don't pretend you can't hear me that's right, I'm talkin' to you (2x) So welcome to the human race now get the fuck out of my face

YOU'RE THE LITTLE ONE You're the little one who doesn't like me (3x) hide behind the couch (2x) Little bitty one why must you fight me Little pretty one, just to spite me You're the little one who doesn't like me Acting like a mouse (2x) Why do you act so afraid when you've got nothing to fear I don't want to see you crying, so don't show me your tears How can you let anyone love you when you won't let anyone near?

LINING THE NUMBERS UP You're not lining the numbers up right when you add them (2x) That's why you'll never get the right answer (2x)

THE ELECTRIC CHAIR Everytime you approach me it's with apathy Everytime I catch your eye it's like you're slapping me Everytime I speak your name it's like I'm saying goodbye Everytime you look my way I want to curl up and die Please don't hurt me (4x) I know what it feels like to be in the electric chair (2x) Cause my baybee don't care Everytime I lose you favor I feel it start to begin Everytime you break my heart it's like you're strapping me in Everytime you walk away it's like you're throwing the switch Everytime I feel the hurt it's like I'm starting to twitch Please don't - 'lectrocute me (4x) I know what it feels like to be in the electric chair (2x) Cause my baybee don't care It's like I'm not even there!

I'M STILL BEHIND LASAGNA And I'm still behind lasanga Lasagna's in front of me but I'm still behind lasanga that's where I'll be