X-MARK Invite to a party - Nobody shows Invite to a party - Everybody goes You know you're gonna be looking down on yourself You better start looking down on yourself Invite to a party - Everyone's in the mood Invite to a party - You finally got some food You know you're gonna be looking down on yourself You better start looking down on yourself You just can't help yourself anymore

CHUNK Chunk!

HOW I MADE MY MOTHER CRY Well how I made my momma cry I'm about to tell you why How I made my momma cry tellng you the story why It was just last night in the dining room I first, first I ate a prune This made me go, I went in my pants and she got quite angry So I got on the scale, I weighed it all it came up one thousand pounds She cried, you know she did she didn't think it was very funnee I didn't have no more pants, so out we went to the local store The name was "Ames", I can't pronounce it but if I could you'd hear it some more So I sat down and waited for lunch and it was another prune I ate it, I thought it was good but now I went on the chair oh here comes mom, I better not tell ya what happens next

ONE DAY DEMOCRACY Well just last night, well I was wonderin' what would happen in Russia if they had a democracy just for one day, that's what I say like in the US of A, just for one day - Moscow! They'd have all the freedoms, freedom of speech freedom of the press, freedom of a beach and I only wonder who would they elect? and would the people wnat to defect?

I WENT OVER MY FRIEND'S HOUSE (lyrics: Brian Gerger) I went over my friend's house and I locked the front door on him and the back door

UNFORTUNATE OCCURANCE a. Life/ b. Death Live and die at the same time! Oops! Hawaiian snowman can't live until he's dead!

BLACKOUT I know a little...

SIMULATED WOOD It won't warp or break you may think it's real but it's really a fake they painted it brown but it used to be black As I said it won't chip or crack Never was part of any tree instead it's part of chemistry You couldn't tell if you could you couldn't tell that it's simulated wood simulated wood, simulated wood simulated, simulate-hey, simulated wood Supposed to be better than oak and when you burn it, it don't even smoke boy I'll tell ya this stuff sure is incredible some guy down the street tried to tell me it was edible

UNREASONABLY REASONABLE Doik!

FLAG DAY There isn't very much to say the very same thing happened to our hula hoop the very next day We're looking for a marble and we're trying real hard we're playing princess and the pea on the car

IN CASE OF FIRE Throw away the fire bucket throw away the fire hose throw away the fire blanket you know where it goes In case of fire throw this in (4x) You're gonna die a firey death unless you do it right so feel the door and hit the floor and never kill the light

THIS BEATS YARD WORK Rub your tummy, rub it hard (2x) while I sing my song That's incredible, that's really incredible it's so incredible, you picked your teeth with a toothpick, today rub your tummy in the yard rub your tummy with some lard while I sing my song rub your tummy, rub it hard rub your tummy cuz it beats the yard work this is your song yes this is a generation's song it's a song I've written for you to pass down to every generation they'll sing it at funerals and they'll sing it at graduations they'll sing it when it's raining and they'll sing it when they're eating bananas rub your tummy, rub it hard rub your tummy now, you better rub it while I sing my song, alright, you know it it's your song

BRAIN HEMMORAGE/BURN OUT YOUR BRAIN Exercise, exercise, each and every day eat right, don't fight, then get out of the way do what the doctor tells you and all you get is pain so live your life or burn out your brain! Burn it! Take it, take it, as have many you're a fool, go to school, it doesn't help you any In the sink of life, you're going down the drain so live your life or burn out your brain! Friction! Drinking, drinking, your clothes are torn and dirty leave the bar, crash your car, die before you're 30 clean up your act, before you leave a stain so live your life or burn out your brain!

THE YOKO ONO BAND The Yoko Ono Band is a clan band from Japan and they like to fart a lot

POTATO BORSCHT Mom, make me some potato borscht (3x) (repeat)

MY FATHER'S TOE My father's toe, my father's toe, my father's toe AAAAAAAAAAAH!

BOWL CUT Bowl cut! (4x)

YO-BALL HIT THE CEILING Yo-ball hit the ceiling! (that's not all it's gonna hit!) Yo-ball hit on my arm Yo-ball hit on my guitar

EUGENE, PRINCE OF WHALES this is an instrumental.

DEAF NUN Never leaves the convent one day her hearing went dressed just like a penguin she won't get it back again Deaf nun (4x)

WEED KILLER Well in my garage is some weed killer I used it once maybe twice I looked at it in the back of the garage it didn't look nice It was rusty, and crusty a puddle it was surrounded I think that I shall put it undergrounded

SONNY BONO'S GOT A BOMB Sonny Bono's got a bomb Sonny Bono's got a bomb Sonny Bono's got a bomb he must be stopped

GOOD GUMS Good gums, where have you gone I wish I knew, where you have gone I need you bad, can't you understand oh my good gums, where have you gone My good gums, where have you gone you're my best gums & you shouldn't take so long Good gums...

GIMME YOUR LUNCH MONEY I went into school, trying to act cool my pockets were loaded with green you know what I mean well this kid said, "hey Paul" he took me out in the hall he shoved my face up to the wall he said, "Gimme, gimme your lunch money!" (4x) I looked with a stare, he looked like a bear and I knew that I couldn't win the fight, alright well I wanted to punch, though I wanted my lunch I handed over my pocket I came back the next day to make the kid pay my pocket was loaded once more, score! well the kid gave me lip, so I pulled out a whip and thrashed him quite a bit, shit! I said, "Gimme, gimme my lunch money" (4x)

JACO IS DEAD/BASS HARMONIC EXPLOSHION Jaco is dead, they beat him in the head he just wanted to play they made him pay with his life They made it be his last night, alive Jaco's life was so short he used to play with Weather Report, once the greatest bass player who ever lived the greatest bass player who ever died the greatest bass player who ever lived in the world He was a master of fusion he just wanted to go to the Ft. Lauderdale night club, man but those, but those guys, man, what was going through their minds when they killed him Oh sure when they take the guys to court oh they'll just plead insanity or something they'll say it was only a coma ah man but, they had to bring him wreaths, man he wasin the coffin man Jaco is dead, now he's left us in the dark Jaco is dead...play the bass, Mark

ROLL THE UNION ON Yeah! Alright!

FUN ON WEDNESDAY (lyrics: Ken Parrish) Ah man, I really hate my mother, i'm gonna kill my mother How you gonna do it man? Gonna get an axe, huh Where you gonna get the axe? At the hardware store, I heard they were having a sale I bought an axe at the hardware store I went home and chopped down my door I chopped off my mother's head I rolled it down the street and now she is dead my brother came home and looked at the door and now my brother, he is no more

I REFUSE TO PICK UP THE GRASS You're outside with the lawnmower I wish you would go a little slower You make me work til I need a stretcher You're too cheap to get a grass catcher why can't you just leave me be ah, man now you gotta see Well I refuse to pick up the grass well I refuse to pick up the grass Can't you get it through your fat skull that I won't do something that dull, oh yeah I can wait until autumn picking up leaves, yeah I got 'em I hate picking up wet leaves when I gotta do it in the breeze I always pick up grass real quick You know wet grass always makes me sick! I always gotta pick up the grass, man and hey you know it makes me sick! I get the flu from it man! Ah, what's America coming to when you gotta pick up the grass? Y'know, I'm just gonna let that grass lay there yeah I'm just gonna let that grass lay there and it's just gonna keep building up I'm just gonna let it pile up I'm just gonna let that grass lay there, I'm never gonna pick it up!

CLOSE MY DOOR/THE BEER SONG Hey, close my door! It's Miller time. It's Old German time It's turpentine

CAR-MANGLED BANNER the maytag repairman is so lonely... Don't it seem like you walk a lot faster after you get a drink...? ah you gotta get drunk every damn night, man... stop taking apples off my father's cherry tree... aw man, you pooped your pants again... We already ate the Necco wafers... I'm gonna have to get something for my calluses. Wow, man, you get things for me and I'm not even a callus!

THANK YOU This is the end, huh? Wow. So this is what you get for three dollars now. Boy, when you were my age, I could get three dollars worth of penny candy for three dollars. Well, I guess the question is, is this worth three dollars? You got some good tunes, man, about fire, and money and my mother and famous people. But you can't steal it, ha-ha, cuz it's copyrighted! Na-na! Yeah, now all I need is a band or something that resembles a band. Y'know, cuz the first concert anyone ever came to, man, Mike and Ed came and that was pretty wild. Two other kids came but I don't know their names, so I can't tell you what they are. Well this tapes really cool man, you know you DO like it, man. Gimme a chance! ah, you broke it! You broke it! It's no good, it's no good! Wow man look at those wheels going around and around in the tape recorder, around and around. You can just look at em. Pretty neat, Pretty, pretty, pretty neat. Well, Pumpernickel would sure taste good now, yeah. Well, except I gotta go to the toilet, cuz I got the Atlantic Ocean in my bladder. Yeah well hmm, jeez what the hell. Yeah, well hey, thank you for buying my tape. Well, you know ah let's see ah y'know well maybe it'll be worth something someday. Hmm, I suppose not.